Remember how I said that I was anxious yesterday? Yeah. I had another panic attack this morning. I was anxious last night but managed to get it under control. This morning though, forget it. I'm still not sleeping well as I keep waking up all the time and I just don't know what to do with myself anymore. I mean, I feel better and then something like this happens. WTF is up with that?

So of course I'm exhausted. That stupid panic attack really takes it out of me. However I must say that it wasn't nearly as bad as the first one that I had. This one was only about five minutes and I managed to get it under control easier.

It still stinks though.

I called my doctor and he's supposed to call me back sometime today. I hope that he calls sooner rather than later as I'm still kind of anxious.

It bubbles up inside me every now and then and I struggle to keep it down with some deep breathing and concentration but obviously that isn't working to the extent that I need it to.

I just get so ashamed when it's all over too. Even though it's just Hubby that is there to see me with my bugged out eyes, face wet with tears, runny nose and in a cold sweat. I just feel awful about myself.

Why can't I control this piece of my life? Everything else has fallen into place so well...except for this. I don't really have much to worry about though, that's the thing. So why now? After all the things that I've done in my life that were scary or that streched me to my limits why now when I'm comfortable with where I'm at as a whole?

This is just so frustrating. I still have tremmors too and other people have noticed. I didn't think it was that obvious, but co-workers have asked me why I'm so shaky.

I hope my Doctor calls me back soon. Ugh.

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