Driving home from work. On interstate, medium traffic.

Me: New Ford SUV
You: Rusty white Chevy cheap-ass Cavalier with muffler hanging from a thread

Do you really honestly think that I'm going to go faster if you tailgate???

I "learned" how to drive in Washington DC traffic. I'm much bigger, I'm much heavier, and I suck more gas than you do.

Really. Do you think I'm going to move?

How about NO!

I'll actually go SLOWER. Then give you the one finger salute when you pass me.

I generally imagine that men with driving issues like this have small penises. It's just a guess. I bet I'm right.

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