I'm officially having a freaking breakdown.

I went to see the surgeon yesterday, you know, the one who pooh-poohed and silly womaned me. "Yeah, go see the physical therapist once or twice and you should be fine."

Whatever, fucker.

NOW of course he's changed his tune, although he's to busy overtalking me (a huge pet peeve) to actually HEAR what I'm trying to tell him about how I'm doing.

I'm going to PT today - of course, what's a day in the life of Kat without a doctor's appointment??? I'm going to tell her that I hate my surgeon and I want another one. He's an pompous ass.

I'm going to get to have a really fun test done where they're going to stick needles in the nerves up and down my arms and send electricity through them to see where the damage is. Sound painful? Yeah, when the doctors already tell you that when you're going to get a shot and it's "not going to hurt a bit" and it hurts...then they tell me this test that I'm getting to take hurts quite badly, it kind of makes me wonder what the hell I'm in for???

I mean, honestly. Needles in my nerves? Doesn't sound like a picnic, does it?

Oh, and not to mention the fact that my recovery time is going to be "around a year."

So much for riding my Harley this summer, I went out to the Harley shop last week with the ridiculous amount of free time that I seem to have now, and tried pulling clutches. (For you non-riding folk, that's your left hand.)

Yeeeahhh, not going to happen. Not with a hydraulic assist on my clutch, even.

I've slowly become such an angry person that my anger is almost amazing. Even to me.

Why did this have to happen to me? What did I do to deserve this? Is God testing me? When am I going to get my life back??? I miss my job...my friends there. My huge 6 hours a week isn't going to cut it for me, not to mention the reduced wages that I get from WSI for Workman's comp.

I have to stop here, I'm starting to cry. Again.

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