I'm drinking, oh yes I am.

Today, actually tonight Hubby told me that it's done. We're done. He wants no counseling and he wants no part of our marriage anymore.

So I guess it's done. Mom and Dad are pissed and they want him off our property. But I convinced them to let him stay. Even as angry as I am at him, I just...I don't know.

They're angry because he said no to counseling. He said that he doesn't think that he can get over what happened. He said he was trying. I just can't believe that.

I swear, the only thing that keeps me going is my dogs and my cats. Knowing that I have to take care of them.

My parents aren't here, and my girlfriends are all sick. Other than that, everyone has turned against me. They think that I'm the "bad one" for seeing someone else. They don't know that I was ignored for the better part of a year and tried everything that I could to get attention.

He just didn't and doesn't understand depression. I feel like every day I'm trying to dig myself out of this big hole that is in my head telling me that I'm not worth a shit and that I'm unlovalbe.

I guess now I know that at least to him I'm unlovable.

I'm going to go have another drink.

last - next

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