I've been trying to digest this for about a day now and it's just not going down. I don't know what else to do about it, and it's very upsetting to me. I think perhaps writing about it will help.

We got an email from a friend that we had out in Q-Town. His name is Chris. I guess he had been trying so hard to get ahold of us as he had something to tell us about.

One of our friends back from Q-Town committed suicide last week.

Jesus, that's just hard for me to wrap my brain around. R.B. is gone. I'm never going to see him again.

Apparently he had just gotten a new job that paid good money, bought a new house and they just had a new baby about five months ago. He told his wife that he was going to go downstairs and do some laundry and after an hour or so when he didn't come back upstairs she went down and checked on him. He was hanging there from the rafters.

My God, what made him do that? Did he really think that it was the only way out???

I wish that we would have known. The very least we could have done was fly out there to go to the funeral. I feel cheated that I didn't get that closure, but then again his wife hated most of his friends from the Marines, and didn't really tell anyone what happened. So of course we wouldn't know.

I just can't understand how things could have gone that wrong for him.

I just can't even get the words out about how I'm feeling about this.

Completely incomprehendable.

I don't feel guilty or anything, but I just feel bad about it.

I don't understand. I probably never will.

I hope he's happy now, wherever he is. The world will miss him. He was a good man.

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